Credits: Raven Oska (raven.oska@gmail.com)

5 Hits, eg: "wow. good job."
5 Near misses, eg: "A near miss is indeed still a miss"
5 far misses, eg: "Um... it's over there."
3 shoot into void, eg: "I'll let you know if that ever actually hits something"
3 crash into debris left by shooting satellites, eg: "Now if only your shooting was as good as your ability to fly into crap"
5 low health, eg: "Why didn't I fly this thing instead"
5 pick up debris with vacuum to be turned into ammo, eg: "Ah yes. Someone's gotta clean up space junk after all"
Switch object radar to satellites, probably just: "satellites"
Switch object radar to debris, probably just: "debris"
3 game over, eg: "I'd love to say I had faith in you, but I mean... look where that would have gotten me"

possible ideas, not sure:
spin around without going anywhere, eg: "do you really enjoy cleaning your ship this much?"
staying still for a while, eg: "Did you fall asleep?"